Act 2, Scene 10

FEDE

Of what happened afterwards I really did not have the appetite to write down here. Hell, I could barely remember it.

Fortunately, Camila has her subtle and unsubtle ways of convincing me to do the things that I want to do; if she didn’t I doubt we would be married.

I kept working in the same area, rudderless and with the little tolerance I had for it completely spent. Hiding how miserable I was slide further and further down from my priorities.

After that I gave up on finding any sense to my days, along with trying to be a good person.

I don’t blame Meli for anything; what happened simply happened.

My life has always been, or at least I frame it as, a constant switching of obsessions. First there was the one I had inherited, the utopian dream future of my parents, which I replaced with Meli, and after she had left my life I found that certain liquids could smooth out my emotions in a way that felt similar to her.

Almost nobody knew of my problem, which was the way I liked it.

Of course, eventually everything can get out of hand, and what those beautiful people that shared my disease gave me the most peculiar advice: give up. Turns out that giving up can be as important as forging ahead. Humans have limited energy, and I needed to allocate mine differently or else I would burn down. What I chose to give up on was my career, there was no future in it that I could picture myself being happy.

Now, whenever a fellow architect asks how I found my calling, I simply tell them that I know the importance of a home; a sufficiently generic but not untrue explanation.

And I haven’t been able to enter any other head. This worried Camila for quite some time, but we have miracles of our own now. We got married, had our daughters, and now I’m happier than I honestly feel I deserve.

From this point on, now I really don’t know what else to write down. The funny thing about the happy times is that there’s not much to think about them other than being grateful for them. That being the case, I’d like to begin the acknowledgements before I wrap up.

Thank you Mom and Dad, for raising me in whatever way you could. Thank you Camila, for making me a better man, for holding my hand through my neuroses and worries and for being the love of my life. Thank you Maggi, thank you, Flor, my treasures, for loving this cranky old man and for giving me the honor of watching your growth and the wonders you create.

Finally, some apologies.

To Mel, wherever you are, I’m sorry and thankful for the time we shared. I regret to this day all the ways I pushed you away and the mistakes I did.

Also, I need to apologize to myself, to the young me, a thing the people like I often learn the hard way.

I’m sorry, Federico. It hurts now, but it shall not hurt forever. You will find a home.

            END OF SCENE